Car park at WalMart

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about
5 minutes and when I came out, there he was -
a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...

So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having bald tires!

So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second
ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!

This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults
at him, the more tickets he wrote ...

But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ...

Air Disaster

"Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small
two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery."

"Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and
expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night."

Blonde tale

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from
the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband na..ked on the bed, sweating
and panting.

"What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling,
her four-year-old son comes up and says,
"Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom,
right past her husband, and rips open the closet door.

Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten B!..tch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack,
and you're running around na..ked scaring the kids!"